Do You Really Prefer Girls or Are You Just Different?
Lesbians are women who are romantically attracted to other women, but it’s never as simple as that. It’s hard to say for certain what makes a woman a lesbian. Some argue it’s due to environmental factors, while others believe genetics determine our sexual preferences.
Is it love I’m feeling?
Here are some facts. As you mature, so do your sexual preferences. Throughout your life, it’s quite natural to have role models. Because you admire them, you would also feel strong attachments and identify with specific groups or individuals.
It could be your close friend from school, whom you hang out with all the time. Or it could be a fellow female colleague that you are very fond of and can confide in about almost anything (except maybe your strong feelings for her).
We all tend to develop an attachment to people who understand us, who encourage us when we’re down, and who care about us. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling strong emotions such as:
- Admiration
- Respect
- Infatuation
- Idolisation
- Crushes
But is it love?
Help in the name of love
While some emotions may give you butterflies in the stomach and make you giddy with excitement, they may not imply sexual attraction. Give yourself enough time to ascertain the emotions you are feeling. Regardless of sexual inclinations, crushes may not lead to true love - however old-fashioned this may sound. It applies to all people.
It is also possible that other factors such as family, stress or peer pressure may be influencing your emotions. It always helps to talk to someone who is knowledgeable about and sensitive to your feelings. Don’t suppress your emotions. Talking is good in most cases.
Is there someone at home you can confide in? You may be surprised that the best people who can help you are the ones you face every day. If there is no one close you can turn to, help is available from experienced and professional folks. You can start with the Counselling and Care Centre Singapore (www.counsel.org.sg).
Play it safe!
Lesbian or not, the rule remains: safer sex, or no sex. When it comes to sexual health, all couples should practise safely. While it is natural to be curious about your sexuality, it is important to be wary of major Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) such as:
- HIV/AIDS
- Herpes
- Gonorrhoea
- Syphilis
Yes, STIs can be transmitted even between two women!
Basically, if a woman is infected with an STI, her menstrual blood, vaginal secretions, rectal discharges, and ejaculate will carry the virus. Any contact with even the tiniest wound (on the lips, gums, fingers or vulva, for example) poses a risk of passing the infection on.
Herpes, genital warts and bacterial vaginosis are transmitted fairly easily between women during sexual contact, while HIV, gonorrhoea, syphilis and chlamydia are less likely but still possible.
Research has also found that bacterial vaginosis (BV), a condition caused by an imbalance in the bacteria in a woman’s vagina, occurs more often in lesbians than heterosexual women. If untreated, BV can easily lead to a woman contracting other STDs.
All women who are sexually active, including lesbians, are advised to go for Pap smears, HIV and other STI screening tests on a regular basis. You can get more information on testing and screening in Singapore here
Other than diseases affecting a woman’s sexual health, lesbians also have a higher risk of acquiring breast and gynaecologic cancer. Seek advice from your doctor on mammograms, other screenings for breast cancer and on a gynaecological exam.
No matter what your sexual orientation, exposing yourself to unnecessary health risks through casual sex is not cool. It’s a much better idea to take good care of yourself.
