Talking to Your Child About Sex
Parents are the best people to educate their children about sex & sexuality issues. Through you, your children will have a reliable source of information, and be better able to filter out any wrong messages coming from the media, Internet, or their friends.
Too early to start?
Children are curious about sexuality issues from as young as four years old. Studies show that young children who talk to their parents about sexuality issues are less likely to engage in risky sexual activities than those who don’t. So it pays to start early when it comes to talking to your children about sexuality issues.
Sexuality education is an ongoing process, so don’t expect to finish the whole topic at one go! Chat about it every now and then, using suitable opportunities or “teachable” moments, such as a newspaper story or television programme to start the conversation. Allow time for the child to think about the subject and ask questions as he or she grows up.Making Preparations
To prepare yourself mentally for the task, think through your own values and attitudes towards sex. Read up on the topic of talking to your child about sex, check on your own knowledge level on sexuality issues and discuss your feelings with people you trust. This will give you a better picture of what information and values you wish to impart to your children. When you are confident about the subject, you will find it easier to talk about it.
Speak Simply
Speak to your children in a way that is suitable for their age. Avoid using childish terms in place of the names of the various body parts. It is okay to admit that you are shy to talk about sex, not because it is “dirty” or taboo, but because you are not used to discussing it.
Children whose parents display a positive attitude towards sex are more likely to grow up with healthy perceptions of sex and relationships. Show that you are willing to listen, and invite questions too. You can also make use of opportunities to start the conversation. For example, if a relative is pregnant, you can ask your child if they know how a baby is formed and start talking to him/her more about this.
What should I talk about?
Most parents wonder what to tell their children and how much to reveal. There are no hard and fast rules. You understand your children best and how much they need and can understand.
Give them the facts plainly. Help them to anticipate the changes that will happen to their bodies as they grow up. Use picture books to help you.
If they are old enough to understand, share with them how sex is not just a physical connection but a psychological, spiritual and emotional one as well. It is a good time to impart to them your values about sex, and that different people will share different values.
Challenges
If your children ask questions that you don’t have the answers to, say that you will find out, and get back to them. By being open to talk and to answering their questions, you are telling your children that sex is a natural thing and not something to hide from them about.
To help parents talk to their kids about sexuality issues, HPB has developed a programme called “Love Them. Talk about Sex.”. Comprising workshops at workplaces, the programme imparts basic information and skills to parents to help them to start talking to their children about sexuality issues. Click here to find out more. You can also get more information from our downloadable booklet!
Read on
