Coping with Infertility
News of a fertility problem can be devastating to couples. Most of us have come to assume that we’d have children and a family when we’re ready for it, so infertility is a tough pill to swallow.
Women above the age of 30 years are more prone to infertility because the quality of egg declines significantly after that. Similarly, men above the age of 35 years are more prone to infertility because the quality of sperm declines. They also face the increased difficulty in achieving erections and this lowers the chances of conception.
Besides age, lifestyle factors like stress, smoking, excessive drinking and drug addiction can also affect fertility. It is best to stay away from such negative influences to increase your chances of a healthy pregnancy. However, if you face the challenge of infertility, take heart because there is still hope. There are ways to cope with infertility both medically and emotionally.
Where Do We Go From Here
You are not alone. Infertility is a common problem, and affects at least one in 8 couples at some point of their lives. The good news however, is that infertility is often treatable and couples can go on to have children of their own!
To identify which treatment is best for you, consult a doctor to fully understand the root cause of your fertility problems. But for a start, here are some common treatment methods:
Ovulation induction
Talking through your feelings with someone you trust can help you feel better.
Artificial insemination
This is usually used in cases when sperm count is low or when there is a problem with the cervical mucus. A large number of sperm are first treated in the lab to increase the chances of fertilisation and are later injected into the woman’s uterus.
In-vitro fertilisation (IVF)
IVF is used to treat infertility that is caused by endometriosis (a condition where the womb lining grows on areas outside the uterus), blocked fallopian tubes or abnormal sperm.
In IVF, the woman is given a hormone treatment to stimulate production of eggs in her ovaries. When the eggs are mature, they are removed from the ovaries and fertilised with the partner’s sperm. Once fertilised, they will be placed back in the uterus.
Getting Through it Together
Fertility treatment can be a lengthy and stressful process. It is common for couples to feel emotionally and physically drained from it.
It is normal if you feel frustrated, inadequate, guilty, anxious or even isolated. It is a tough challenge after all, so don’t be too harsh on yourself or your partner. In fact, let your feelings out once in a while and you will feel better!
This is also when you need each other the most. Just remember the following to help you stay on top of things:
It’s nobody’s fault. No matter what, you need to be supportive of each other. Communicate and be understanding of each other’s feelings and needs.
It’s OK to cope differently. You are different individuals and there are no right or wrong ways to cope with your fertility problem.
It’s OK (and even good) to seek therapy or professional guidance. It helps to talk to qualified professionals who can help you manage your stress and anxiety or help you determine the best fertility treatment options.
Life goes on. Help each other get back on your feet. This may be a major roadblock in your life’s journey, but you still have a lovely future ahead. So maintain your routines and encourage each other to keep your life together.
Make time for each other. Have fun and do the things you both enjoy. Spend time sharing your emotions, be it your hopes and aspirations, or your disappointments and frustrations. Nobody understands your pain and dreams more than your partner, so embrace each other.
Keep your sex life exciting. Sex should be more than just a means of getting a baby. It is an intimate experience that’s central to a loving relationship. So relax, stop worrying about conceiving for a while and have a fun sexy romp in bed!
During this trying period, your moods may oscillate between a high of hopeful anticipation to a low of disappointing letdown. In fact, couples have found these difficult times to be an opportunity for positive personal growth. So go on and give each other the love and support that you need!
